Why I Hate London

Long residence in Cumbria had made me forget the charms of South London. Sunday afternoon, after 4 days of intensive flat renovation, we load up the car and I drive to the tip, a trip that involves going round the Daytona-Speedway-on-bad-acid that is the Wandsworth Roundabout. Total length of journey: slightly less than 1 mile. Total elapsed time for the round trip, including unloading, on a Sunday afternoon in the 'quiet' period just after New Year: 50 minutes. As has no doubt been pointed out elsewhere, the average speed of traffic in the nation's capital is now slower than was achieved using wooden rollers propelled by a troup of hairy-arsed Battersea boys in designer rhinoceros furs during the Upper Palaeolithic. But that's progress for you.