A Season In Flat-Pack Self-Assembly Storage Unit Hell

I've just spent a half-day in the aforementioned, none-too metaphysical location, putting together bedroom furniture for the Battersea flat. The process goes through three distinct phases - dread, tedium, and despair. The result is a pine wardrobe and chest of drawers. This suffering is as nothing compared to the heroic passion of V who, entirely of her own volition & without me so much as dropping a hint, spent the previous Sunday afternoon over in Gateshead and broke off from important musical work to obtain the aforementioned flat-packs from the Geordie IKEA. This involved the usual obstacle course of being misdirected around the IKEA showroom by grinning Geordies all trying to sell her things she didn't need or want until, on paying for the goods, she was told by said grinning Geordies that she now had to drive 3 miles to the IKEA warehouse to collect them. Readers, I owe this woman, big time. A brief search through the contents of Mr Berners-Lee's interweb invention reveals the startling fact that the domain name 'ihateikea.org' is currently 'inactive'. Well, what are you all waiting for? This obviously represents an opportunity for somebody . . .