'Agree With Everything - Deny Nothing - Embellish All

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Follow That Car!

To Cockermouth for a funeral - the full story of which may be told by others at a different time. The first stage of the day required the Renaissance Man, Renaissance Woman & myself to form up in a three-car convoy and drive over to my hometown to gather up widow and orphans. Renaissance Man led the way in his stylish grey Audi. You'd think it would be possible to follow such a car a distance of six miles in light traffic. But somewhere beyond the Mealpot it all went horribly wrong & the Renaissance Woman embarked on a scenic tour of Victory Crescent, that boulevard of shattered illusions in downtown Netherton. Eventually the grey Audi of her attentions pulled into a driveway, stopped, and out stepped a driver who was clearly not the man she married. Who was, in turn, amazed when six mourners jumped out of two cars and approached him.
This made me think of a new technique for aleatory exploration. Intrepid psycho-geographers should assemble by the roadside with a couple of cars. Wait some time, and choose at random a passing vehicle. Follow it, breaking off at intervals to follow any vehicle of similar make and colour, to the end of its journey. Observe and record the sights, sounds, experiences, architecture and landscapes you encounter.
So if you want to try this at home, send us accounts of your voyages of discovery to the email address in the sidebar of this blog: News From Beyond . . . will excerpt the most unusual. Extra points will be awarded for journeys crossing bodies of water and national frontiers, or ending at railway stations, airport terminals and houses of ill-repute.

5 Comments:

Blogger Simon said...

There's a very nice Chinese chippy in Netherton.

7/4/05 10:27 pm  
Blogger Nick said...

Simon - send us directions & we'll do a review

9/4/05 10:43 am  
Blogger Simon said...

Just drive into Netherton, it's the only one there

10/4/05 11:03 pm  
Anonymous Eleanor said...

Then there was the trip from the airport in Manchester, wherein Eleanor and Franklin were to follow Nick and (insert woman here) to Arkelby, with a stop at the bank in Penrith on the way. Needless to say, what with suddenly driving on the wrong side of the road, jet lag, before we even got all the way out of the airport, we lost Nick & friend. So, map in hand, we went on to Penrith, pulled up in town on a street that looked like the sort that would have a bank on it. I got out of the car, looked across the street, and there was Nick. No shit.

13/4/05 2:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to work with a man whose brother was a traffic cop with the Metropolitan Police. He told me that sometimes these upholders of the law would play "Motorway Snooker", a game for two police cars. First you have to stop a red car, then you have to stop one which is yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black. Next a red car, then a colour and so forth. End of break occurs after either ten minutes during which no car is apprehended or after stopping a car whose driver you are unable to book. As with table snooker, the turn then passes to the other team. Winner is the car with most points at the end of the shift. There is a reduced version for two officers in the same car.
Glad to see you are using your time profitably ...

15/4/05 12:14 am  

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