'Agree With Everything - Deny Nothing - Embellish All

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Just a minute Clement - you are listing again.

And so! It’s the ragged end of summer. No two days the same. The grass is reluctant to grow, except for tall weeds forced from the cracks in the yard, their sustenance sucked from below.

Tuesday I drove back from Leeds and on a whim took the road via Lakeland Plastics, The Duck Feeding Pier, The World of Football, The Indonesian Furniture Warehouse, The William and Dorothy Wordsworth car park..........stuck in the train of cars behind the Mountain Goat Japanese Tourist Bus Company to Fleece Central (Keswick). At least the Japanese see the lakes and the mountains, albeit framed in their cellphone/ digi-camera/ mp3 screens. The queue outside the Pitlochry cardigan centre to root through the sale offerings was impressive.
I resolve to not go to the Lakes in August BUT to set fire to the World of Football and a curio shop and an outdoor clothing shop (or two) and the Stars of the Cars and any paintings of rocks by artists with inflated opinions of their own talent (though how would they know? - good point.. but hell I’m beyond caring). Clement you are listing. Surely this should be an interruption rule in 'Just a Minute'? I digress.
Somehow we must subvert what the Lake District tourist experience has become. How come I never noticed the tatty and sordid parts before? Has it been a sudden change? Maybe, when the development agencies have finished improving Blackpool, the tourists could go there and we could remediate the Lake District. I’m sure that Environmental Protection Act would insist on the removal of all ‘contaminated’ land. I’d start with the soil beneath The World of Football.
I bought some nice cleaning products in Lakeland Plastics by the way.


Blogger Nick said...

Surely the World Of Football could be towed out into the Irish Sea and used for target practice by the MOD?

11/8/06 6:42 pm  

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