'Agree With Everything - Deny Nothing - Embellish All

Friday, April 28, 2006

Man From Maryport Is Innocent

Occasionally, I make a brief cameo appearance in another blog as 'The Man From Maryport'. This mysterious identity has clearly alarmed people, because someone decided to Google me today - or rather Google 'the man from maryport'. As chance would have it, the other blog - and this one - came top of the returns. But the rest of the Google list seems to be made up entirely of court reports and press releases from West Cumbria police, all containing variations on the immortal phrase 'man from Maryport found guilty of . . .' or else 'man from Maryport convicted of . . .'. The offences in question seem to be quite alarmingly imaginative & unlikely. Glad to see that the residents of my home town are living up to their reputation.
I'd just like to point out that the real 'Man from Maryport' has never (yet) appeared in a magistrates' court or had his collar felt by the police. I am innocent. Well, mostly.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have only one question. Did any of these charges connected with The Man From Maryport include spraying graffiti about Maryport?

29/4/06 1:45 am  
Blogger Lampy said...

free the maryport one?

29/4/06 10:54 am  
Blogger Nick said...

Eleanor - No, sluts. Please!

3/5/06 11:32 pm  
Blogger Nick said...

Lampy - some of us managed to find our way out a long time ago. Others (see forthcoming post re dolphin) just can't stay away . .

3/5/06 11:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

women from Maryport don't seem to have done much, legal or otherwise, according to google.

4/5/06 3:45 pm  
Blogger Nick said...

Jeremy - looks like your search didn't pick up this notorious case . . . All part of the rich pageant of West Cumbrian life.

4/5/06 3:54 pm  

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