'Agree With Everything - Deny Nothing - Embellish All

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Happiest Day Of His Life

One of the minor hazards of life in St Bees was the likelihood that, when turning up to some event at the local school, I'd have my collar felt by a visting old boy and be recognised and remembered as a former pupil. One such occasion recently developed into the inevitable Do you remember old so-and-so? - a dismal prospect as in general all anybody ever wants to talk about is Rowan Bloody Atkinson. But this time with real originality and pleasure I heard the story, second-hand, of a dimly remembered younger contemporary. At some point in the late 1970s the school was indulging in one of its periodic bouts of construction. One day Dimly Remembered Younger Contemporary distinguished himself by liberating a JCB from the building site, driving it around school and attempting to take the roof off one of the buildings. Sadly, he was expelled. In a just world such a finely judged combination of individual initiative and psychotic violence would be rewarded with the captaincy of the School XV and a place at one of the more barbaric Oxbridge colleges.

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