Bah Humbug Revisited
In the midst of Saturday night dinner at V's the doorbell rings. It's the first Trick-Or-Treaters of the year, a mere 10 days before Hallowe'en. How did we manage to evade their attentions for so long? Purely in the interests of keeping our cars unvandalised we sent them off with some small tokens. Debate now rages as to what would be appropriate for future importuning so far ahead of All Hallows. Laxative chocolates is the best we can come up with, but if readers have better suggestions, please make with the comments.
Note to international readers - Trick or Treat is a relatively recent novelty in the UK, its introduction being a mark of the relentless Americanisation of British culture (deplorable, imho, but American friends may like to convince me otherwise . . .)
Note to international readers - Trick or Treat is a relatively recent novelty in the UK, its introduction being a mark of the relentless Americanisation of British culture (deplorable, imho, but American friends may like to convince me otherwise . . .)
posted by Nick at 2:00 pm
6 Comments:
I find it deeply ironic in these modern times, that children are encouraged to accept sweets from strangers.
I have found the best way of avoiding the little monsters is to live on the third floor, kids today would rather go without than trek to our door.
We find that putting piranha fish into the moat is a good way of dissuading them. If they do manage to cross the moat Gill is particularly adept with the machine gun mounted on one of the turrets and if they still manage to knock on the door after that we pour the boiling oil on top of them. Knocks on the door after this will see Ray begrudgingly give one sweet.
I'm old enough to remember when Hallowe'en callers were just a couple of scruffy little boys (with an inexpertly fashioned turnip lantern) who were satisfied
with a 'threpenny bit'! Happy days!
Actually, over here in the states there are now elaborate schemes afoot to thwart the spiking of sweets on Halloween -- it's truly stupid beyond belief -- everything from hospitals offering to x-ray candy (to make sure there's no razor blades inserted) to daily instructional methods broadcast by alarmist news anchors. Of course, how many actual candy-tamperings take place is anyone's guess. And then there are the expensive store-bought costumes.... aarrhh don't get me started!
Eleanor - I guess there's nothing like maintaining a certain level of unfocused fear and anxiety among the voters . . . .
Two strategies my family wouldn't let me try out, but I liked the idea of: (1) Address them with "Alas! Oh ye miserable, unfortunate worshippers of Satan! Permit me to pray for your poor benighted souls!" OR, (2) offer them a nice crisp organic carrot each.
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