At Last - Les Delices de SA. 5 Star Sign Wars

Our local village in WCSA boasts 'the only 5 star restaurant' in the Western Cape. Or so it says on three of the biggest road-side signs adorning the 20k's of country road from the main N2 to Greyton. Beautifully made signs they may be. However they are totally uneccesary and unwanted. For a start Herman, the german proprietor of the Greyt-on-Main (getit?) Restaurant & Rooms thinks that signs should be fullsome in their praise of his establishment. I assume he wrote the copy himself. To read everything on the sign requires a stop of 5 minutes or so a) to read and b) to understand the meaning. There's even a super text on a flyboard above the main board proclaiming the establishment to be ' The 3 A's broker for Accomodation, Activity and .... " another A which I can't remember 'cos I was going to fast at the first sign, missed the second sign and ran out of interest at the third. Oh! and what does 0% commission mean? I think it's an in-joke dig at the many estate agents in the town. The erection of the signs has caused a whole load of comment and downturn in his business I believe. The locals have decided that such boasting and the spoiling of the views wins Herman no friends. In fact there is now unwelcome interest in 'who was the awarding body for the 5 stars?' I am told that the food is very good but not 5star good... it's a german restaurant in South African for godsake. Unless he got the stars for 5 ways with eisbein and cabbage. All agree that it is a mystery.
Last night though war broke out. There had been talk and letters in the press calling for Herman to remove the signs. He said he would respond on his return from Namibia (on a pig knuckle buying trip?). It seems that Persons Against Uneccasry Signage and Eisbein (PAUSE) decided to take the signs down and destroy them. The village is happy... no-one has owned up.... Herman will be furious, unless of course it was he who did the deed in an attempt win back customers. I for one would not have eaten there until the offending signage had been removed.
Tonight we return to WCUK so a review of das eisbein vil hev to vait until after Christmas.